Selfish

I know this is going to sound crazy to most of you, but i'm selfish. I know it's tough to believe, but it's the truth. Here's the question that convinced me of it:

How often do you think about yourself?

I think about myself at least 98% of the time. It's gotta be something out of control high. And it isn't always in pride either, unlike the times I think about myself kicking a thief in the middle of a bank robbery or throwing a touchdown to win the superbowl (both of which happen far too often...I mean me thinking about it, not actually doing it). Sometimes I think about how much I suck, which still is ridiculous. God doesn't rejoice in our self-loathing if it doesn't lead to worship. A lot of people who don't believe and don't honor God hate themselves, so really, it's not biblical humility.

The truth is, a lot of times I operate in the middle. Not loathing myself, not pridefully slapping myself on the back, but simply going through the motions satisfied to have few thoughts of God and MANY thoughts of self. I hate it. I'm so tired of it.

I want the spirit of John the Baptist. Talk about a guy who didn't think about himself. People start leaving him left and right to follow Jesus and all he says is "He must become greater, I must become less."

I'm done with self. I want Jesus. I want more thoughts on his perfection and less thoughts on my WHATEVER. How can those who died to sin live in it any longer?

May the God of freedom grant us what he promises.